Don't have plans for New Years yet? Worry not, we'll sort you out. If you have always fancied attending a page-3 soiree, simply gate-crash one.
Page three "dos" are ubiquitous - populated exclusively either by the TV types, the film frat, the arteratti, theatrewallahs or fashion folks, or a heady mix of one or more of the above. And yes, who can forget that smattering of random wannabe celebs.
So, without further ado about the do du jour, here's how to gatecrash one:
Dress wise
The more outrageous you look, the better. This is not to say you need to splurge at a fancy nose-in-the-air designer boutique. Au contraire!
Bring out those embellished/embroidered jeans that could pass off for "cool kitsch", slash a regular top (yup, a la Ed Hardy), slip into killer knee-high boots, throw on OTT accessories, get a wild hairdo (just muss up those tresses, if you must). Now, let's see who stops you from entering a high-profile do, and staying put.
Mind your language
Let the accent be on? A faux accent - whezer French, Austraalieen, 'Mexicaine or stiff upper lip Brit. Apart from worshipping gori chamdi, most desis are strangely in awe of foreign accents. But don't overdo it, lest you lose it midway and embarrass yourself.
Don't stuff your face
The finger food and booze is bound to abound. Tempted as you may be, it's unfashionable to eat more than a couple of morsels. Remember, the laws of demand and supply work in reverse order in these circles. And make sure you accompany each bite with an "Oh dear God! Damn diet… I'm feeling soooooo guilty".
Starstruck no-no
Before you go: "Aww, there's Amitabh Bachchan/Shah Rukh Khan/Priyanka Chopra!" hold it. Even an iota of awe could give the game away. Instead, contort your features into a practised pose that's a blend of bored disinterest and been-there-done-that nonchalance.
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