Staying in touch
What's okay: Yes, we all have IM's, BBM's, SMS's, MMS's and all other lighting-fast electronically-generated means of staying in touch with messages and emoticons. Since these can be perfectly harmless and impersonal, an email once in a while isn't really a breach of contract. Your current partner shouldn't be throwing tantrums if you exchange harmless updates on trivial matters of life every once in a while.
What's not okay: Courtesy the 24/7 availability of means of communication, if you find yourself talking to your ex every day or every other day on subjects that aren't exactly impersonal, you're treading very dangerous waters. It's not about staying in touch any more. Your current relationship is bound to be affected by your reliance on your ex. Stop before it gets nasty.
Running in
What's okay: No one likes an accidental run-in with an ex. It's uncomfortable for all parties concerned and while you can't wait to get out of there fast enough, the two men/women are busy assessing what you dragged home this time. Keep it simple and very swift. Introductions should be made but don't bother going into details of 'new' and 'old'. Vibes are enough to tell everyone where they stand in your awkward trio.
What's not okay: If you've broken up with your ex, there is no reason imaginable for you to hug or kiss them, let alone in the presence of your current partner. While some people are casual about hugs and kisses and may dole them out freely, don't be the firestarter. Stay formal. Keep the conversation straight and don't go into details or conversations your current partner will be clueless about.
Gifting policy
What's okay: Since a certain level of gift-giving happens in every relationship, it's perfectly normal to keep utilitarian numbers like home-décor items, electronics, a funky ashtray. Not everything need to split down the middle.
What's not okay: Don't let your current partner find you getting emotional over a picture of you and your ex stashed away in the deep recess under your bed. Anything that can be interpreted as personal, sentimental, or of any real emotional value, should be parted with before it becomes a bone of contention with your current partner.
Talking about them
What's okay: It's easy for exes to weasel themselves into conversations with current partners every now and then. General references, random experiences or lighter moments can be shared with your current partner, guilt free. As long as it's casual and lighthearted it should be taken in that spirit and passed off.
What's not okay: While you may have fond memories, giggle-worthy stories and some cute nuances your ex had, your current partner can't be expected to share your joy in them. Notions of guilt, remorse, rebound, fond memory can be easily intercepted with the tone in your voice and will not be taken well. Talk to yourself about it, if you must. Feel free not to share.
Tread carefully
1) Simply put, you are best left handling your ex and any conversations about your ex with extreme casualness and an aloof attitude. Don't let it affect your present relationship.
2) Any positive or negative emotion sparked off will be a cause for concern and insecurity in your current relationship.
3) Keep it platonic and casual, and if you can help it, far away. Is it really worth jeopardising your current relationship over?
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