Kinky sex has more to do with sexual practices that raise the bars of lovemaking to being vehemently expressive, ranging from the act of being playful to paraphilic. Kinky sex can be extremely painful and uncomfortable for many.
Clinical psychologist Shrradha Sidhwani says, "Sexual compatibility between partners is a must. But it is important to keep in mind what appeals to both." Kinky sex at times may result in repelling physical proximity to the partner. Kinky sex is not just associated with men. Clinical psychologist Mansi Hassan says that now there is a changing trend in women and they are more expressive and experimental than their men.
There are two sides to this coin. Either you are the one who wants it wild or your partner is the kinky one when you are uncomfortable. Hassan says, "Often, kinky sex causes physical discomfort and pain to many, mostly women and so, should be avoided."
Sidhwani says, "Every person has different sexual drives and if that is not satisfied, they may indulge in sex outside the relation. Add an emotional element to save your relationship." Sex is about pleasure than pain. Not every degree of kinky sex is abnormal, but if it tends to incline that way, one should watch out for the signs; as it can end up being a traumatic experience. Don't just comply without feeling comfortable. But there is no harm in innovation and experimentation while having sex. Because, love and love-making, is undoubtedly all about give and take, only then can one be gratified.
When you are the kinky one:
1. Be specific about your thoughts:
Communicating is a must. If you are the one who loves the kink bit, talk about your likes and dislikes to your partner while in bed. Try to gauge how comfortable he/she is about the same and understand the level of kink involved both ways. Innovation and experimentation is good for boosting up your sexual life and re-igniting passion.
2. Never pressurise your partner: Clinical psychologist Anjali Chabbria opines, "Kinky sexual behaviour can never be forced, as it is about how comfortable the other person is, only then will love-making end up being pleasurable." Another important aspect, as Sidhwani says, is consent.
3. Go smooth: If your partner wishes to give it a shot, then run into it smoothly without disclosing your animal instincts. Chabbria thinks it's best to start with coaxing and cajoling. Hassan says, "Create a physical and emotional atmosphere to break the shell they're in. During the act, or preferably after it, ask him/her how comfortable they were." Like Chabbria says, if there is dissent and dissatisfaction in the whole act, it can result in withdrawal from sexual activity or aggression (overt or covert).
When your partner seeks kinky sex:
1. Listen: Don't turn a deaf ear to your partner when he/she discusses their fantasies with you. Consider listening to their request. Slow your partner down if he/she is rushing in.
2. Gauge the level: Chabbria says, "Assess your partner. If love is interspersed with kinky sex, then there is no harm in trying (when comfortable.)" Then again, if comfort is not associated with kink (for you), be polite while turning your partner down.
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