annoying relatives, problem relatives, relatives, bad relatives,disgusting relatives

Diwali is that wonderful time of the year where you enjoy with the family. Except that it's also time to face those annoying relatives you've tried your hardest to avoid. (Remember the nosy aunt, the boastful US-return cousin and the ever-complaining granny.) But before you start ranting and raving, we've got you your survival guide to help you deal with those drive-you-up-the-wall relatives and have a ball this Diwali!
The nosy aunt
She wants to know every nitty-gritty detail about your life and there's no stopping her barrage of questions. What's more, if you're single, she wants you to get married. If you're married, she wants you to get pregnant and if you've just had a baby, she wants to know when the next one's coming along! She's never satisfied and always has some halfpenny advice to offer. Well, it's time to beat her at her own game. Turn the tables and start bombarding her with question after question instead! Ask about her children, her home or even her sari. Once you get her started on her own stories she'll forget about yours ;)

The cheek-pulling uncle
No family is complete without him. Whenever you meet him, he just has to pull your cheeks (never mind that you're 25!) And of course, he can't help but remark on how 'big' you've become. You heard it ten years ago but don't be surprised if you have those remarks coming your way even after you become a mother of two! Not much you can do but smile politely and go 'grrrrrrr' in your head! Of course, if your uncle is sporting, why not remark on how old he's become? For all you know, he might just stop :P

The boastful cousin
She's the US/UK-return cousin who can't stop boasting of her university or job that you have aboslutely no interest in. She loves to hog the limelight even it means impressing nosy aunt with a bunch of fake tales. (Of course, she's a great way to keep nosy aunt busy.) But what do you do when she turns on you? Simple - give her the attention she wants and overdo it. Praise her to the skies - from the outfit she's wearing to her nail paint - and don't stop asking her how she does it. She'll quickly get tired and start looking for her next victim.                                                                                                                      

The gatecrashers
They're your long lost relatives that you had no idea existed. They invite themselves for the entire season and they are put up at... your home! They expect you to wait on them hand and foot and are so messy, you wonder what kind of junkyard they live in. Put your foot down and get them to follow certain rules. Make sure they do their own laundry, keep their things in the right place and keep the bathroom clean, the way you've always had it! Of course, don’t pounce of them when you’re saying this. Be subtle or joke about it and just ‘hope’ that they get the hint!

The naughty brat
Last and definitely (no matter how tiny they are) not the least, is the knee-nibbling rugrat whose parents spend half the time fussing over him when they should be giving him a sound spanking! Keep a watch out for him. You'll find him spilling his soft drink on the floor and then sliding in it, wiping his oily hands on your couch or worse still, going dangerously close to the crystal vase your mum gifted you! Offer him a set of crayons and a paper to keep him out of your hair and yes, bribing him with chocolates too always works ;)