A collection of snippets can often be misleading and snippets on sexual mores, even more deceptive. Sex should have a sense of the erotic or of mystery. Like a management concept, it can't be reduced to the 4 Ts.
The comment - a little knowledge of sex can actually save marriages - is interesting. This is one case where a little knowledge is a comforting thing, for more information does not lead to better decisions and people still make the same mistakes.
So why do even those who are supposedly informed not take protective steps? This attitude stems from ignorance and indifference. There are many educated people who are equally illiterate when it comes to sex. This just goes to show that higher education does not necessarily entail greater literacy. It all points to the still-prevalent patriarchy in society.
This is what gives rise to a lot of hypocrisy too, as is evident from case three. Women still want their hymens back when a prospect of an arranged marriage looms. Suddenly, the woman sees herself as property and wants to be intact. Virginity as the sacrament symbolises the procrustean nature of marriage. The case shows that change is not easy and often hypocrisy is the guarantee for purity.
Hence, for all the new-found permissiveness we talk about, it is important to trace the link between freedom and hypocrisy. Youngsters aren't still aware about sex, they are just familiar about it and its repercussions.
Recently, a student conducted a study on the contraceptive pill which she shared with a young audience and to her surprise, the biggest chunk of the audience comprised men.
For men in India today, the pill is perhaps the answer to their worries. As it is, for long Indian men are rarely known to take responsibility for their (sexual) actions.
To a certain extent, the various cases are symptomatic of urban trends. Take the instance of the tensions between a couple of professionals. It is clear that as a woman blossoms career wise and otherwise, the man seems to shrink sexually. Suddenly the woman not only earns more but enjoys sex more. The man, filled with a sense of failure, clams up like a mimosa in a corner.
There is something about the pressure of urban life which makes sex remote. The job becomes the orgasm and couples seek more meaning in their jobs than in each other's bodies. When work becomes a priority over relationships, sexuality fades to the sidelines, outcast like an old hobby.
Women and sexual freedom
As for women being more sexually expressive, it's partly an expression of freedom and desire. When liberalisation took place, women were definitely far more impacted. Their evolution was brought about by professional freedom and financial independence which found an expression in their sexuality too. It is aptly reflected in their willingness to share intimate details about themselves and their desires.
Liberalisation thus, not just opened up the market, it opened up the idea of the body too. Sex was a part of the larger picture of all the things that changed with it. Women are getting more interesting in our times. But the flip side is, the systems - legal or societal - are failing to keep up with these changes. This is why violence against women is also increasing.
What next
The future will splinter into all kinds of things, negative and positive. On the negative side, violence will increase, again a sign of ignorance and indifference. But on the positive side, with more openness, hopefully communication between men and women will improve. People forget that conversation is a part of sexuality. Now onwards, men and women will learn to talk to each other, which will help them relate to each other better.
The comment - a little knowledge of sex can actually save marriages - is interesting. This is one case where a little knowledge is a comforting thing, for more information does not lead to better decisions and people still make the same mistakes.
So why do even those who are supposedly informed not take protective steps? This attitude stems from ignorance and indifference. There are many educated people who are equally illiterate when it comes to sex. This just goes to show that higher education does not necessarily entail greater literacy. It all points to the still-prevalent patriarchy in society.
This is what gives rise to a lot of hypocrisy too, as is evident from case three. Women still want their hymens back when a prospect of an arranged marriage looms. Suddenly, the woman sees herself as property and wants to be intact. Virginity as the sacrament symbolises the procrustean nature of marriage. The case shows that change is not easy and often hypocrisy is the guarantee for purity.
Hence, for all the new-found permissiveness we talk about, it is important to trace the link between freedom and hypocrisy. Youngsters aren't still aware about sex, they are just familiar about it and its repercussions.
Recently, a student conducted a study on the contraceptive pill which she shared with a young audience and to her surprise, the biggest chunk of the audience comprised men.
For men in India today, the pill is perhaps the answer to their worries. As it is, for long Indian men are rarely known to take responsibility for their (sexual) actions.
To a certain extent, the various cases are symptomatic of urban trends. Take the instance of the tensions between a couple of professionals. It is clear that as a woman blossoms career wise and otherwise, the man seems to shrink sexually. Suddenly the woman not only earns more but enjoys sex more. The man, filled with a sense of failure, clams up like a mimosa in a corner.
There is something about the pressure of urban life which makes sex remote. The job becomes the orgasm and couples seek more meaning in their jobs than in each other's bodies. When work becomes a priority over relationships, sexuality fades to the sidelines, outcast like an old hobby.
Women and sexual freedom
As for women being more sexually expressive, it's partly an expression of freedom and desire. When liberalisation took place, women were definitely far more impacted. Their evolution was brought about by professional freedom and financial independence which found an expression in their sexuality too. It is aptly reflected in their willingness to share intimate details about themselves and their desires.
Liberalisation thus, not just opened up the market, it opened up the idea of the body too. Sex was a part of the larger picture of all the things that changed with it. Women are getting more interesting in our times. But the flip side is, the systems - legal or societal - are failing to keep up with these changes. This is why violence against women is also increasing.
What next
The future will splinter into all kinds of things, negative and positive. On the negative side, violence will increase, again a sign of ignorance and indifference. But on the positive side, with more openness, hopefully communication between men and women will improve. People forget that conversation is a part of sexuality. Now onwards, men and women will learn to talk to each other, which will help them relate to each other better.
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