Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Does morning sex excite you?

'It's in the morning I wanna touch, it's in the morning I wanna love you, it's in the morning no interruptions, it's in the morning ... " goes singer Robin Thicke's popular number 'It's in the morning', but do women really warm up to men's desire for a great 'morning wood'?

When I wake up and see her soft, undressed body beside me, her eyes closed and mouth slightly open, like a dainty little angel that just fell from the sky, I feel a burning desire to love her, badly. These are the feelings of men who wake up with a hard-on, and men who are simply in love with the idea of morning sex. Unfortunately, most women do not share the same enthusiasm for morning glory as they feel bedroom activity is best reserved for nighttime. The sexual expressions of men and women have for centuries been a subject for debate. Here's a lowdown on why men crave for a steamy sexual romp at that hour, while women would rather get on with the day, pronto.

Says Dr. Kamal Khurana, a Delhi-based marriage and relationship expert, " Sex is a biological need, and you tend to relish it most when relaxed. A man feels most expressive when he wakes up as fantasies are touching him at that hour. And to find his partner lying next to him triggers an urge for sex." Dr. Khurana believes that place and availability are also reasons to initiate early action among men. "But in the case of women, she needs to be emotionally triggered first," he adds.


Then why do women not feel that emotional connect in the very hours, and are in a rush to begin the day? "In India, such a trend has been identified only in the last decade. In today's scenario both the partners go for work and return spent at the end of the day. The stress levels are very high at nighttime, and to get into the mood for a stormy lovemaking session may not come naturally," explains Dr. Bhavna Barmi, senior clinical psychologist at Escorts Heart Institute.

She relates women's abstinence from sex first-thing-in-the-morning to their higher emotional and sexual maturity. "Men would first like to rejuvenate and then start the stressful day ahead. Blame it on the multi-tasking required right from the morning of a working woman. From showering, readying breakfast, to packing off the kids, if any, to school, it is multi-taking all the way for her. While, the only responsibility of a man is to look after his personal hygiene and plan the day ahead," she elaborates. "And sex can become a tad mechanical when both the partners are not at the same emotional level," she adds.

Dr. Rajendra Barve, a psychiatrist at the IIT hospital, Mumbai, feels that this brief mismatch in their need for physical intimacy can cause serious strain on a relationship. "There is more freshness in the morning, the growth hormones are pumping, and the vigour of the body is restored from a good night's sleep. But when a woman wakes up, she is pre-occupied about the daylong chores and may not be instantly switched on by the idea," says Dr. Barve. Perhaps, a woman's way of looking at sex is very different from that of men. As Dr. Barve reasons, "A woman feels the urge for sex when she is emotionally aroused, while a man's sex drive is governed by power, and a tendency to win over situations."

"At that hour, if a couple do not experience an emotional and physical high in unison, it can get very difficult for them in the long run. And lovemaking would, little by little, turn into a mundane act between them," he says. But is there a way men can get their women interested in morning glory?

"As the man you need to wake up a little early and finish with your washing up, before slipping back into the covers again – fresh and fragrant - next to her," says Ashish, 33, a team leader with an international banking company. To keep a condom handy is another sensible thing to do, he tells us. "A woman likes to be woken up gently, and showered with plenty of caresses and kisses as she opens her eyes," shares Aditi, 28, an engineer who has recently tied the knot.

After all it's not that difficult to get your girl interested in morning sex, simply do not scurry, and remember patience and understanding her mood are most valuable in that glorious hour. Start with a warm welcoming smile, follow it up with a tender kiss on her forehead, and you will manage to get that sensual moan out of her!


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