Has marriage reached a stalemate? "No," says Bollywood actress, Madhuri Dikshit Nene, "You have to work on a marriage and keep the spark alive. Marriage isn't about individualism, it's about togetherness. Modern marriages are vulnerable, they need more nurturing. If you shut yourself, there's a problem."
The anti-marriage trend
In her book, The Best Kept Secret, Janet Reibstein writes about the challenges of modern marriage: the tension between individual freedom and commitment, there's difficulty in offering appropriate time and energy to another person.
Says London-based Priyanka Kanse, trend analyst for the future laboratory, "It seems heterosexual couples don't believe in marriage. The faith is being revived by gay and lesbian couples, who are having lavish weddings. By 2026, there will be a dramatic change in marriage as an institution. Society has relaxed its attitudes towards couples who live together. With divorce rates escalating, marriages won't be forever. They'll be more a lifestyle thing."
Energise your marriage!
As living together gets cool and getting married seems a bit of a turn-off, says Anil Dharker, "Marriages are under intense stress. We're redefining new social codes and values. Marriage is about equal partnership."
We know that relationships are hard work. For instance, Nitin Desai, 37, and Tanya 30, have been married for the last six years, they were once in love and are now forever fighting.
Says Psychiatrist Dr Sujata Sharma, "Marriages come under pressure when appreciation and gratitude for your partner disappears. When in conflict, don't be negative, be empathetic, take the others perspective. Anger is based on false clarity, and each negates the other's efforts. There should be earnestness in a couple to make a marriage work. It's very easy to mentally drift away from each other. And sometimes the space can never be filled. Romantic love will fizzle out and the ordinariness of everyday shouldn't cripple a marriage. That's when the spouse seeks emotional attention and quick gratification outside the bedroom. Once the spouse is mentally logged out, it takes a huge effort to log back again."
No comments:
Post a Comment