It's all about the big O, they say. An orgasm is the conclusion to a bout of sex, the be all and end all of everything in bed.
But is what you know about the big O really true? Here's a reality check.
1) If you can't orgasm, you must be frigid.
"Only one-third of women experience orgasms during regular intercourse," says Dr Dharika Satyen, a gynaecologist. Some women need extra stimulation to have an orgasm.
Others don't even need to have sex for an orgasm. You need to figure out what your body likes and get your man to do that. An orgasm is an orgasm no matter how you get it.
2) Vaginal orgasms are better than clitoral orgasms.
Clitoral orgasms are easier to achieve than vaginal orgasms. "It's perfectly normal for women to experience difficulty and pain during vaginal orgasm," says Dr Satyen. On the other hand, more women achieve orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris.
3) Women need to orgasm to enjoy themselves.
Sex feels good whether or not you have an orgasm. True, an orgasm is the pinnacle of pleasure. But when combined with the right level of intimacy, the journey can be as satisfying as the destination. Many women even prefer foreplay to actual sex.
4) It's more difficult for women to reach an orgasm than men.
Women take longer than men to reach the optimum level of arousal, but the prime time for an orgasm is almost the same for men and women. That's why you have to warm her up.
5) A woman needs a skillful partner to orgasm.
Being great lovers is a matter of pride for men. While their efforts help, an orgasm ultimately depends on your own body. You need to tell him what to do to make yourself feel better. Women also suffer from performance anxiety. So your inability to orgasm may be more about you than him.
An orgasm is pleasurable and important. But don't let the lack of one disrupt your sexual life. Experiment and learn to do new things. Maybe, a new position or a new way of stimulation is all you need.
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