When I was single, I wanted to marry someone who had kids. I love kids, and it seemed perfect! I would have a readymade family with no pressure of producing kids! And a kid is a kid and doesn’t need to come out of me to be loved!
Someone I know, a single mother of a 9 year old, remarried recently. When I asked her what it was like, she said, “we feel like a family again!” and she proceeded to touch wood. Here is a woman who gets a salute from me. She had the courage to try to find her happiness. And that alone makes her a superwoman for me!
We’ve seen people raising eye brows at people who marry people with kids. We also look askance at anyone who has kids and wants to marry again! But truth is that it is tough enough to have a kid and to lose your spouse to that big hole in the sky or to be a divorcee. Being single is tough, being a single parent tougher! Imagine the lonely nights, managing work, home, the bills, the society, and add to this mix a child, who for no fault of his/her is being brought up without having a complete family!
It is great to call these people super parents, but let’s look at their lives full of pressure. You tend to either snap, become helpless, be omni-present or over compensate. I agree most do a good job, but at an immense cost to themselves! The emptiness, need for companionship, the hope for support doesn’t ever go away, does it?
And if you meet someone they could be with, there is always the worry..What if the child hates him? What if he hates my baby? What do I do when the absentee parent shows up? How will I react when the step parent admonishes the child?
The fact is that a child reacts to love. He/she may take time to adjust, but before it gets to that point, the parent needs to have courage and say, I’m going to give happiness another chance…guilt free.” Because life is about second chances and a lot of happiness!
No comments:
Post a Comment