Pack your romance (read: bags) for Bora Bora Island (French Polynesia), Molokai (Hawaii), Koh Thonsáy (Cambodia), Rangali (Maldives) and Neil Island (Andaman, India).
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Top 5 Romantic Islands To Go Before You Die
Pack your romance (read: bags) for Bora Bora Island (French Polynesia), Molokai (Hawaii), Koh Thonsáy (Cambodia), Rangali (Maldives) and Neil Island (Andaman, India).
Time to see a sex therapist!
Knowing when to consult a sex therapist can make or break your sex life, and probably your relationship. We list the signs you must look out for
Given the hush-hush attitude that many people harbour towards sex, its not surprising that approaching a therapist for sexual issues is seen the last resort. In fact, it's even considered unimportant. The result —frustration and strain on marital life. Here are the warning signs.
Why procrastinate
Guilt: Most people are taught to look down upon sexual desire as something shameful, vulgar and condemnable. Those who consciously suppress their sexual desire and refrain from sex are respected and often glorified. A young man feels guilty if he feels sexually aroused looking at a beautiful woman. A woman too, condemns herself for experiencing a normal sexual urge. In some cases, husbands even look down upon their wives for their expression of sexual urge! This attitude prevents people from seeing a therapist.
Quacks: Sadly, the city is full of quacks who pose as sex specialists. In most cases, these people are unqualified. With no proper medical degree, they propagate myths such as masturbation is harmful or nightfall is a disease. Understand that qualified medical practitioners are not legally allowed to publish or display any advertisement. Before visiting those so-called specialists, who put up big claims, remember to do a cross check. Compared to other specialists, qualified sex therapists are less in number. This lack of availability worsens the problem.
Not knowing when to consult: The third reason why people either hesitate or completely avoid consulting a sex therapist is due to a lack of clarity about when to consult. Women prefer visiting a gynecologist whenever they have complaints related to their genitals. However, sexual problems are often emotional, psychological or even relational in origin, and don't always fall under the ambit of a gynecologist's expertise. Clinical psychologists and counsellors on the other hand, have a psychology background and may not be able to provide sex therapy like a qualified doctor.
Consult a sex therapist when
Dealing with attitudinal issues: Often, the man or woman needs to deal with attitudinal issues regarding his or her own, or the partner's role in the act. For instance, who should make the first move, what is the correct technique and duration of foreplay, the correct frequency of intercourse, when and where intercourse should be performed, who is supposed to be the active partner, etc.
Having perverted urges: Be it boredom or the need to experiment, men or women often engage in perverted sexual behaviour. If not dealt with properly, the urge can cause harm.
Unable to penetrate, perform: When a man is unable to penetrate during sex with a willing partner, it calls for a detailed investigation of the problem.
Unable to reach orgasm: A woman's orgasm is probably the most befuddling of all topics. Consulting a sex therapist is advised if the woman is unable to experience orgasm during willing sexual encounters with a loving partner, in spite of active participation.
Getting married: It is amazing how much individuals often learn out of premarital counselling, as they deal with relationships at various levels.
About sexual orientation: Rather than grappling with guilt and confusion, and letting the perplexity affect you, it is better to visit a sex therapist. Not to forget, there are many grey areas of sexuality such as bi-curious and homocurious.
Given the hush-hush attitude that many people harbour towards sex, its not surprising that approaching a therapist for sexual issues is seen the last resort. In fact, it's even considered unimportant. The result —frustration and strain on marital life. Here are the warning signs.
Why procrastinate
Guilt: Most people are taught to look down upon sexual desire as something shameful, vulgar and condemnable. Those who consciously suppress their sexual desire and refrain from sex are respected and often glorified. A young man feels guilty if he feels sexually aroused looking at a beautiful woman. A woman too, condemns herself for experiencing a normal sexual urge. In some cases, husbands even look down upon their wives for their expression of sexual urge! This attitude prevents people from seeing a therapist.
Quacks: Sadly, the city is full of quacks who pose as sex specialists. In most cases, these people are unqualified. With no proper medical degree, they propagate myths such as masturbation is harmful or nightfall is a disease. Understand that qualified medical practitioners are not legally allowed to publish or display any advertisement. Before visiting those so-called specialists, who put up big claims, remember to do a cross check. Compared to other specialists, qualified sex therapists are less in number. This lack of availability worsens the problem.
Not knowing when to consult: The third reason why people either hesitate or completely avoid consulting a sex therapist is due to a lack of clarity about when to consult. Women prefer visiting a gynecologist whenever they have complaints related to their genitals. However, sexual problems are often emotional, psychological or even relational in origin, and don't always fall under the ambit of a gynecologist's expertise. Clinical psychologists and counsellors on the other hand, have a psychology background and may not be able to provide sex therapy like a qualified doctor.
Consult a sex therapist when
Dealing with attitudinal issues: Often, the man or woman needs to deal with attitudinal issues regarding his or her own, or the partner's role in the act. For instance, who should make the first move, what is the correct technique and duration of foreplay, the correct frequency of intercourse, when and where intercourse should be performed, who is supposed to be the active partner, etc.
Having perverted urges: Be it boredom or the need to experiment, men or women often engage in perverted sexual behaviour. If not dealt with properly, the urge can cause harm.
Unable to penetrate, perform: When a man is unable to penetrate during sex with a willing partner, it calls for a detailed investigation of the problem.
Unable to reach orgasm: A woman's orgasm is probably the most befuddling of all topics. Consulting a sex therapist is advised if the woman is unable to experience orgasm during willing sexual encounters with a loving partner, in spite of active participation.
Getting married: It is amazing how much individuals often learn out of premarital counselling, as they deal with relationships at various levels.
About sexual orientation: Rather than grappling with guilt and confusion, and letting the perplexity affect you, it is better to visit a sex therapist. Not to forget, there are many grey areas of sexuality such as bi-curious and homocurious.
Sehwag reaffirms support for the UDRS
India opener Virender Sehwag has reaffirmed his support for the Umpire Decision Review System (UDRS), asking for its implementation in all of India's engagements leading upto, and including the World Cup.
"I am a big fan of the UDRS," Sehwag said. "I want it to be there for the India-New Zealand series, India-South Africa series and in the World Cup. But this is my personal opinion. I was given out two times when I was not out and in such a situation could have gone in for a referral that would have helped me continue to bat."
Sehwag's stand is antagonistic to that of the Board of Control for Cricket in India's (BCCI) and most of India's top players, including MS Dhoni and Sachin Tendulkar, while Rahul Dravid and Zaheer Khan are for its implementation. India were part of the first trial of the system during their tour of Sri Lanka in 2008. They struggled with their referrals, getting only one of them right, while Sri Lanka successfully challenged 11 decisions.
Since then, the BCCI have ensured that India have not had to face the system in their series against South Africa, Sri Lanka and Australia. The upcoming Test series against New Zealand will also not feature it, while the ICC has asked the India and South Africa boards to decide on its implementation for the South Africa tour. Plans are afoot for the UDRS' one-day debut during the World Cup.
Sehwag's next assignment is the home series against New Zealand, followed by the tour of South Africa in December. He was keen to play all the matches in the New Zealand series, though he is ready to go early to South Africa if the BCCI decides to send some of the senior players before the end of the one-day leg of the New Zealand series. "We would like to play a full team against New Zealand but the schedule is such that a break may be needed," Sehwag said. "It's up to the team management and the BCCI to decide on the matter. I would like to play as many ODIs as I can. But if the team management and the BCCI want us to go early to South Africa we will do it."
I feel fantastic now - kevin Pietersen
England batsman Kevin Pietersen has said he is feeling "fantastic" after working on some technical and mental aspects of his game with coach Graham Ford during his time with the Natal Dolphins.
Before joining up with the England squad in Perth this weekend, Pietersen spent four weeks in South Africa attempting to regain his form, and while he managed to play just two first-class innings, scoring 36 and 0, he insisted the trip had been a positive and helpful experience.
"I feel fantastic now. I've had a lovely little break from the international circuit which has been very, very refreshing," Pietersen told BBC Radio 5 Live's Sportsweek programme. "I'm really, really excited about what could be one hell of an interesting and positive winter ahead."
"I put myself under a lot of pressure by going to South Africa knowing that every practice session and every hit I had would make headlines in the cricketing world but that's what I wanted to do because I know it's going to benefit me in the long run. Fordy's been somebody I've worked with throughout my life so it was amazing that I could go and spend two weeks with him and gather back that confidence and that free spirit."
"He knows me as a person. I haven't given a lot away about me as a person here, especially playing for England, but Fordy knows where I'm from, knows everything about me so he can talk to me in a very different way, more than anyone in this country probably apart from my brothers and my parents. He picked out one little thing that I haven't been doing in the last six months, since the Caribbean in the World Twenty20 and we worked on that little thing in particular.
Pietersen, who has not struck an international hundred since March 2009, hit out at the intense media attention given to his struggle for form ahead of England's defence of the Ashes in Australia. He empathised with footballer Wayne Rooney, who has also been the focus of negative publicity recently.
"I wasn't fed up with the scrutiny, I found it funny," he said. "The journalists get paid to make opinions and the punters have the right. But people don't realise we know as sportsmen if we're not playing well. We actually know as sportsmen if we are not playing well, if we are letting ourselves down or letting people down, so the more times that people hammer you about it, it doesn't really help.
"I look at the Rooney situation - he's getting killed every single day and it will definitely not be helping the lad and he shouldn't have to go to Dubai to get away from things. He should be supported. The man's a genius, he will be a legend of the game and he should be supported rather than be hammered about stuff."
Pietersen also insisted he would not be drawn into a war of words with the Australian camp before what is sure to be a keenly-contested Ashes series. Australian captain Ricky Ponting recently suggested that Pietersen "is a big question mark for them [England] at the moment" and that opener Alastair Cook and middle-order batsman Paul Collingwood would be "nervous" after their own struggles for form during a successful English summer.
"This is my fourth series against Australia," said Pietersen. "Every single time I have played against Australia, for the months leading up to it a lot of things are said which have absolutely no bearing after the first ball is bowled. I am not prepared to get involved. I'm not prepared to add any fuel to any fire that they might have started. I just want to go out and play some really tough, hard cricket and challenge myself against the Australians in Australia."
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